Saturday, July 30, 2011

Some poems

Monkey Business (all pubbed in Madswirl, 2009)

I wish I were a chimp
like all the other guys
hanging out at The Missing Link
sucking off Bush Baby bones,
this arboreal urge
and anthropoid pose
win the ladies with my pan troglodyte pout
and my promiscuous loins,
play with my own dung
build a monument of it
to the god of all dung--
Cheeta Dungee.
And the fact
that I can pass a mirror test
get rewarded with a banana
a sexy chiquita
makes me all alpha wet,
almost human.
When it gets too crowded
on the ground
I'll think I'll fly into space,
just to have a piece of primacy.

Napoleon Was a Dyslexic

After I withdraw
my ambitious explorer
from your encroaching interior
the way Russia once devoured Napoleon
so many nameless explorers, conquers,
who once had names
I want you to murder me in pieces
delicious bite size syllables
so I'll never be able
to spell my name again
and leave me a text message
to let me know
that you're safe
in this alphabet city of
dyslexic men.

How to Keep the Mice Listless

In a double-blind study by Stetson,
Stetson and Stetson,
the researchers blindfolded three mice
and planted a rat's morsel of cheese
at the far end of the maze.
The maze resembled the blueprint
for a miniature human city.
In the Methodology section it was noted
that Stetson and Stetson, but not Stetson
were blindfolded too.
All three Stetsons had a theory
about the threshold to deprivation.
In conclusion, all three mice gave up
somewhere in the middle of the maze,
one died, the other two, wanting to.
When the Stetson brothers went home
they discovered against their expectations
that three mice were scurrying across
their kitchens, leaving mouse turds
on the floor. From this, the Stetson brothers
devised a theory that mice
can read blueprints
and have no need of a control.

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